Gay couple welcome law change

New Zealand is just one of 15 countries worldwide to have legalised same sex marriage.  

 With the Bill finally being passed, gay couples will be able to tie the knot from next month and one openly gay woman, Cara Stevenson, thinks it’s “awesome”.

“In the grand scheme of things, I think it’s a step forward for society as a whole, not just gays,” she says.

 “If you love someone and you want to be able to scream it from the rooftops you should be able to do that.

 “To some people it’s not just a piece of paper; you should be allowed to marry who you want.”

 Ms Stevenson, of Auckland, first had an idea that she was a lesbian when she was a very young girl.

 “I have known pretty much since I was about five,” she says.

 “I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy, being more into boy’s clothes.  Back when I was a kid I used to hate playing dolls and wearing pink.”

 Although Ms Stevenson knew that she was a lesbian, she continued to deny her feelings to herself until she was 16 for fear of being different to everyone else.

 She had no intentions of ‘coming out’ at school as one other girl was constantly bullied because other students thought she was gay.

 “I hated school.  I was bullied for lots of things but being a lesbian wasn’t one of them.”

 While she knew she had no interest in the opposite sex, Ms Stevenson wanted to conform to what society considered as ‘normal’ so she continued to have heterosexual relationships.

 She was 18 years old before she decided to tell her next door neighbour and friend that she was gay.  To her surprise, that friend also told her that he was gay.

 It was a further four years before the secret was out to a family member, her sister.

 “She asked ‘I don’t know if I want this question answered but I’m guna ask it anyway.  Are you gay?’,” Ms Stevenson, now 38, says.

 According to an online report here a survey conducted in 2007 of 9,000 secondary school students aged between 13 and 18 years old, showed that 4% reported being attracted to the same sex or both sexes and 4% were not attracted to either sex.  The remaining 92% said they were attracted to only the opposite sex.

 The Mt Wellington resident admits she has been the victim of the odd ‘snide’ comment, including from straight people frequenting gay bars.  While she is able to laugh off those remarks, it has driven others to suicide.

 Ms Stevenson works as a radiographer, and when she was given the opportunity to learn the skill of mammography, she had reservations because she did not want people who knew that she was gay to make a complaint saying that she was ‘overly, touchy feely.”

 “I was really interested in it.  I liked the idea of ongoing patient care.

 “I was mostly concerned about doing somebody’s mammogram that knew of me, knew I was gay and knew me to look at but didn’t know me really well.”

 After a couple of months, she discussed the situation with her charge who reassured her and she successfully went on to become a mammographer.

 While many straight people are quick to say that being gay is a choice, Ms Stevenson says that is definitely not the case.

 “If I had a choice I would have totally been straight.

 “You are what you are.  You can’t change it.”

 The blonde lesbian is clearly comfortable in her own skin and happy with the person that she is.  She has the full support of her parents, family and friends.

 She has been with her current girlfriend, Karen, for five months after being introduced by a mutual friend.  They live together in the Auckland suburb of Mount Wellington.

 While there are no plans to run down the aisle at the moment, the very fact that they have the legal right to marry and their love be officially recognised is very welcome.

 Karen adds:  “I am proud to live in a country that is taking positive steps to further include and respect the rights of those in minority groups.

 “I can now look forward to the day I walk down the aisle with the woman I love.”