The Bachelor NZ: Arrival of the lions

The Bachelor’s third season is here, and after the mess that was season two there is a monumental amount of pressure on Zac to not break up with his chosen one a few days after.

Zac tells us he has experienced love at first sight before, as he walks along the beach alone, staring meaningfully at the ocean. It’s a scene that lacks originality, and will probably be repeated many times during the show whenever he faces a challenging decision. 

There are 19 bachelorette hopefuls arriving today, all hoping to win the heart of a man they have never met. The theme of the show goes against everything feminism has fought for for years, but hey, it makes good TV.

The house is beautiful, and part of me wants to be on this show just to live there. Then I remember that sharing a guy with 18 other girls is only fun if you’re watching. 

Among the standout girls are Viarni, who wears roses on her dress, a subtle hint that seems to work wonders for their chemistry.

Then there is Lily, whose mum entered her on the show, and who is very chill and drinks Zac’s beer.

Nina, or “Harry Potter girl” arrives, and concludes that at the end of the day,  “We are all gorillas trying to hide our excess boy hair.”

One girl walks into the door, another goes completely the wrong way and it’s getting harder to watch.

Katey forgets his name, then Miriana comes on; she is completing her PhD, has a daughter, used to be in the Navy and does community work. 

With her list of accolades, she should be the bachelor.

As for the bachelor, I sense a connection between him and Jess, the girl who bought him a cup of tea; he’s still chuckling long after she’s walked off.

There’s Molly who brings up something about flossing, I wonder how much Colgate paid her to say this?

Zac and Dom do that weird handshake hug thing at the half way mark, and there’s a slow-mo of cute moments from the meeting that’s a little nauseating.

Monique insults his mother for being an Aussie and it’s great to watch. Probably not great for her though: she’s going home.

There’s a moaning myrtle impression from Claudia, and it is honestly my favourite part of show.

Elena raps a remixed version of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and it’s a piece of art.

Hannah walks in with a red dress and I feel another spark, but that could just be because they intensified the music.

The new white rose has caused  a lot of speculation. It’s for someone with a special connection according to Dom, nothing to do with the fact Colgate sponsors the show…

Then comes the cocktail party, where every girl competes to spend time talking to Zac, and the desperation is painful to watch.

“I feel like there’s a pack of lions trying to hunt a gazelle,” says Zac.

The accuracy is astounding.